Relaxation: A Guide to Meditation

“It’s very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.”
― Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

Relaxation in Progress:

Think about relaxing: sit down a moment: I need to wash these floors: remember when the dog chewed the floor: that’s why I won’t get dogs: fish are my friends: fish are good for children: what if the children eat them: health food: wait there’s more: what was I doing?

Relaxation is a dirty sort of essential. You have all these stresses that are strewn about your figure, one worries if a loose hair will string a moment together. Remind yourself that you can find time to settle down a mo’.  The world won’t explode because the force of your will slipped thus dooming everyone to death by all physical laws becoming mute, delicious jelly growing fangs, palm trees spontaneously combusting, Einstein using your toothbrush as a gene transmitter (Rude).  It will be okay to breathe. Make the time to destress.

Stress comes in many different forms, and will not always look the same:

They may be 

  • overly agitated,
  •  overly withdrawn, 
  •  frozen up:

 it is important to understand that each person reacts differently, and thus has a different method of dealing, and a different threshold. Some people do better in the spotlight, some do better in the background. The whole point is to find your stressors and decide if they are productive, or if they aren’t. Some ARE healthier than others, and one should move toward the healthier habits if not for the sake of yourself, then for the sake of what a tomorrow that needs a bit of sunshine that is you.

It is always a good idea to experiment and combine relaxation techniques and find out what works best for you.



Meditation is focusing one’s awareness on something usually very present. Such as how one’s legs are falling asleep from all the sitting, their breathing, or sensations such as the sun hitting their skin, the grass beneath their feet, trying to sense any “energy fields” often utilizes mantras.  Mantras are a sound, or positive phrase that is repeated to help induce good feelings and are usually used with meditation to distract the mind, as a focus for physical sensation, and as a boost for morale.

One can use a more guided sense of meditation by focusing on relaxing the toes, and moving up slowly, VISUALIZING, or FEELING the soothing tingle move in and up, this is more useful if you’re trying to fall asleep.


  1. Go into it with a POSITIVE attitude. Many techniques may seem silly, but this is WHOLLY about you
  2. If you feel you are a more visual person, find an appealing place. Or close your eyes.
  3. If you are a physical person, find something that feels nice. The texture of wood, or draw a labyrinth and trace, rake some sand.
  4. Find a pleasing pattern within life: a chant, or sound, it is preferable to start with your own voice if this is the case, but music can do the trick, make sure it is rhythmic and pleasant (if screeching babies and demons whispering into the armpits of children is your way, do it), or do something as simple as count backwards, and start over.
  5. Focus all on your body. Your breathing&heart-rate
  6. R   e   l  a   x        s   l   o   w   l   y. You can visualize a nice soft glow spreading from your toes upwards.
  7. Wipe away negative thoughts. Imagine them leaving your body in the form of black smoke, or some little cleaning man scraping away sludge that dampens your conscious mind, or draw them as a great big circle, and STOMP IT TO DEATH
  8. Breath in positive air. Imagine words pouring into your mouth that are kind, or fairy dust landing all over your body and curing you of all the negative from the outside, as well as the in.
  9. Remember, you can do it.
  10. Rinse, repeat.

The small Steps for Daily Use:

  1. Pick a time, and a trigger: Such as in the evening, after you fluff your pillows
  2. Do it for atleast TWO mintues
  3. Be Conscious 

These are some “accessories” you feel more confident in your meditation; or if you are meditating for a specific purpose.



Here are activities you can still use Meditation:

  • Physical Activities: Shooting Hoops, Jump Roping, dancing or one can try tai-chi, qigong, walking, or any number of others.
  • Art: Finger-painting, knitting, drawing that one gloriously straight line. Remember it is all FOR YOU.
  • Music: Strum some notes, get into singing lalala.
  • Anything you frickin’ want

Regular meditation can be shown to help improve chronic pain, anxiety, high blood pressure, cholesterol, substance abuse, PSTD, breathing trouble, and help give that “tingly” feeling. There are many different TYPES, and it all depends on when you feel best.

Do as the Buddhists, be a bit more present at this present (in our society, it is understandable if you can’t be presently present at all presents), create a universe within in a moment. Relaxation is much like taking a photograph of someone laughing loudly. Teeth, wrinkles around the eyes, lines echoing the mouth, a moment that is beautifully crystalline. There is no pretense. It is a focused, and infinite moment, utterly contained to that frame. Go in peace.


One thought on “Relaxation: A Guide to Meditation

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